“Hold on, hold on,” I muttered to my buzzing phone as I hurried through the apartment door. “Gotta pee, just hang on.” The phone, of course, couldn’t hear me and continued buzzing in my pocket as I fast-walked to the bathroom.
I pulled my phone out as I went back into the living room and checked my missed calls. I tapped the green phone next to Luc’s name with a smile. “Hey,” I said after his voice greeted me, “What’s going on?”
“I know where my father is.”
“What?” I asked in surprise, dropping down couch.
“Neilson – the PI – found him.” Luc let out a heavy breath. “He’s still in Champs Les Sims.”
“Wow,” I said softly. “What are you going to do? Are you going to see him?”
“I don’t know. I’ve been so focused on just finding him that I never thought about how I’d actually feel once I did.”
“How do you feel?” If it were me, I imagined you’d be able to find my picture next to the dictionary definition of ‘confused.’
“Kinda pissed.” Over the line, I heard rustling. I could picture Luc getting up and pacing around his room. “I feel really pissed at him for running out on my mother and for giving me up. And it doesn’t make any sense. If she’d wanted me, I wouldn’t have my real family or you or anyone else here. I don’t want to change that, but at the same time…”
“I get it,” I responded gently. “Feelings don’t have to make sense.” I could only imagine how it would feel to know my father hadn’t wanted me, even if I’d been adopted by an amazing family.
“I guess. I just don’t know if I can look at him and have him say he didn’t want me. Or tell me to get lost and not even talk to me at all. Which is stupid; I’ve known that was a possibility from the beginning.”
“It’s different when the reality is right in front of you.”
“Yeah.” He sighed heavily. “So I’m just not going to do anything right now. I know where to find him if I’m ready.”
“I’m always here if you want to talk,” I told him before we said our goodbyes. After I hung up, I frowned at the apartment. I didn’t envy Luc what he was going through. What he was dealing with suddenly even made me want to call my mom, even though I’d seen her a couple of days ago. Nothing like adoption drama to make a girl appreciate her family.
“What’s wrong?” Josh asked, coming into the room, hair damp and skin rosy from a shower.
“Luc called. The private investigator he hired found his father.”
Josh took a seat next to me. “Isn’t that good news? It’s what you two have been working towards for months now.”
I nodded. “It is good news, but it’s complicated. Now that Luc has found him, he has to decide if he can actually face the man who didn’t want him.”
“Shouldn’t he have thought of that before going through this?”
I shot him an irritated look. “There are some feelings that just don’t set in until the confrontation is imminent. I thought you understood.”
Josh held his hands up. “Hey, I do understand. I wasn’t trying to start a fight. I feel for him; I really do. What is he going to do now?”
I sighed softly. I’d kind of bitten his head off, hadn’t I? “He’s not going to do anything right now. I guess he’s going to let it marinate or something.”
Josh slid his arm around me and pulled me into his side. “Well, whatever he decides, I hope he knows we’ve all got his back.”
“I know he does,” I said softly. I leaned into his side, but part of me wanted to get up. I remembered when I had practically melted into Josh’s side; now, it almost felt…wrong to be with him like this. I smothered that voice and just leaned my head on his shoulder. We were pushing past the rut in our relationship. We just had to warm up to each other again.