Chapter 2.62

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1

—Alison—

I walked up to the apartment door and just stared at it for a minute. I knew I’d have a fight on my hands the moment I stepped inside. I’d texted Josh from the airport saying I was headed home; he had simply responded with, “I’ll be waiting.” Sure enough, the lights had been on when my cab had pulled up outside.

He was kind of right to be pissed at me. I hadn’t told him I was going with Luc to France until an hour before I had to leave for the airport. I’d just known he wouldn’t want me to go and would pick a fight. I hadn’t wanted to get into a fight with him before the trip, so I’d put it off until after. Admittedly, that kind of did make me a bitch, which I would admit to him once I was inside. I really just wanted to go to bed, but I knew that wasn’t going to happen anytime soon.

2

With a deep sigh, I opened the door and stepped inside, putting my suitcase down by the door. Josh was sitting on the couch, with his arms braced on his legs. He looked tired and upset.

When he heard me, he looked up and got up from the couch. “So you decided to come home. How was France? Did you bring me a fucking souvenir?”

3

Here we go. “You know it wasn’t that kind of trip, Josh. I was there to support Luc.”

 

4

“No, I don’t know, Alison. I don’t fucking know a single thing about this trip because you didn’t fucking tell me about it. You called me while I was at lunch with my mother. And you hung up before I could ask anything about it.”

“Because I knew you were going to tell me not to go! This was important to Luc – “

 

5

“I am so sick of hearing about fucking Luc. You don’t talk about anything else anymore,” Josh accused.

6

I glared at him. “He’s my friend. And he’s yours too, unless you’ve forgotten.”

“Then why would you think I wouldn’t want you to go to France? Why, Alison? You didn’t even have to ask me – you’re a grown ass woman. All you had to do was tell me why you were going. You thought I’d make a big deal out of it. Why is that, Allie?”

7

Hearing his affectionate nickname for me used in such a harsh tone stung. “I don’t know! You’ve been making a big deal out of a lot of things lately.”

8

He narrowed his eyes at me. “Are you fucking him?”

I jerked back, appalled. “What?”

“You’re so paranoid about me having a problem with you going away with him for a week. Are you sleeping with Luc? Why else would you be so fucking secretive?”

9

“I am not cheating on you! How can you ask me that?”

“Oh, gee,” he said sarcastically, “why might I think you’re sleeping with him? It’s not like you’ve been spending all you free time with him or anything. It’s not like you just spent a week with him in France and didn’t tell me until you were practically on the plane. Oh, wait, except you did do all of that.”

10

“Oh, fuck you, Josh. Like you’re so perfect. You’re the one to ask about slutting around. Remember before we got together? You were screwing some blonde bimbo while claiming to be in love with me.”

“So you can’t find any dirt to dig up on me, so you’re pulling up shit from seven years ago?” Josh scoffed.

12

I glared at him, wishing he was close to just one girl he wasn’t related to so I could accuse him of cheating just like he was doing to me. “You’re being a jackass.”

13

“No, I’m being a jealous fucking boyfriend, which is what I am, Alison.”

14

“Well then maybe you shouldn’t be!” I stopped as the words came out of my mouth. I rolled the notion around in my head but was surprisingly okay with it. “Maybe you shouldn’t be my boyfriend anymore.”

15

Josh jerked back as if I’d struck him. “Allie, I’m sorry,” he said, immediately backpedaling. “We’ll fix it, okay? I’m sorry for accusing you of sleeping with Luc.”

16

As I looked at Josh, I suddenly felt like the teenager I used to be. Josh was my best friend in the entire world. And look what I had done to him. I had been clinging to this relationship for years, even though I knew, deep down, that it was going no where. I loved Josh; I always had and I always would. But it wasn’t romantic anymore. And, as his friend, I couldn’t keep doing this to him. We would never stop fighting if we stayed together. This moment of clarity of mine probably wouldn’t even last if we kept going; I’d end up back at the same place I was just in. Antagonizing him, subconsciously hoping he would end it first.

“No, Josh. We aren’t going to fix it. This isn’t working. It hasn’t been for a while.”

17

“We’ll make it work,” he said, an edge of desperation in his voice.

I shook my head, a few tears burning my eyes. Now that I’d actually made the decision, the pain was there. The loss of my first real relationship and, more importantly, the death of my oldest friendship. There was no way our friendship could ever recover from this. Not just this fight but the whole doomed romance. “It’s over, Josh. It’s over. It will never work with us.” I smiled sadly at him. “You deserve a woman who wants to have a whole bunch of babies with you. That’s not going to be me, Josh. That will never be me.” I dashed my fingers under my eyes and turned away from him.

“Alison, no. I love you.”

18

I kept moving towards the door. “I don’t love you.” I walked out of the door. I managed to make it into the cab before the tears really came flooding out.

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17 Responses to Chapter 2.62

  1. CitizenErased14 says:

    We all have known this was coming for so long. But still, I cried a little. My heart is absolutely breaking for Josh right now (I’m sorry to be so unsympathetic to Alison. You did tug at my heartstrings a bit with her mourning the loss of her best friend. But still… I just feel like she’s been leading him along and dragging this out for so long.)

    There are other fish in the sea, Josh. You will find an amazing woman who will give you the family you always wanted, I just know it! ❤ (And Alison… Go bang Luc and be childless. Bye. :P) (Sorry, sorry, sorry. I'm mean)

    Liked by 3 people

    • JoieWilder says:

      LOL! It’s easy to see whose team you’re on! But really, this was a very emotional chapter to write. I love Josh and Alison – just not romantically involved. So seeing the two of them like this was pretty sucky. 😦

      Liked by 1 person

  2. raerei says:

    Aw – she did the right thing and let him go BEFORE she started cheating on him and he on her.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. theplumbob says:

    Yay finally.. Err, I mean, that is so sad.

    I quite liked Alison in this one actually. She did the right thing. Sure, she should have done it a long time ago, but still couldn’t have been easy (in fact, it would be harder). Josh needs to be with someone that’s more like a partner to him, the obsesion he’s always had with Alison was never healthy. He’d always put her on a pedestal, and relationships can’t work that way. No wonder these two couldn’t work out!

    I do find it odd that Alison was surprised Josh accused her of cheating with Luc. I mean, he definitely had a reason or two to be just a tad suspicious lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    • JoieWilder says:

      I feel like I really did my job as a writer for this chapter if I was able to make you actually like Alison (at least for the duration of this chapter. 😉 ) You’re very right about how Josh viewed Alison. She is his childhood crush, basically, and he always put her up on that pedestal, as you said. Despite all the signs to the readers, Alison actually isn’t looking (currently) at Luc as bed-partner material (though that could definitely change now that she’s single!); she is attracted to him, but still is looking at him through friendship glasses. So she was very surprised that Josh would think she was sleeping with him. That said, Josh had every right to be suspicious!

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Senna says:

    This hurt to read. 😦

    Also, I may have face-palmed when Josh accused Allison of cheating on him. I get why he was thinking that, but… :/

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Simslover163 says:

    Ouch, that was painful to read. I don’t who side to pick. If I had to spin a wheel, it’ll land on Alison. (Sorry, Josh). Josh needs to be romantically involved that he’s truly in love with. The Jolison relationship is somewhat unhealthy and Alison was right to leave him. After all, it didn’t seem to work out between the two.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. maladi777 says:

    My heart is breaking for Josh. It’s so terrible being the one still in love and watch the other drift away. Been in both their shoes. But moving on when you’r still in love is so much harder and takes longer.
    Well written chapter! Loved their argument, I mean the way it was written, of course. Felt so real.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. NoaLyn says:

    Ugh, finally! I don’t really like Alison anymore, that is, I like her, but I don’t like how she was treating Josh the last time. I’d rather had him ending the relationship. He deserves better than her, and it’s better for him this way, I’m sure he’ll notice when he’ll find a woman who wants to start a family with him 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  8. julyvee94 says:

    Oh my days I knew this was coming but it still broke my heart when Alison said “I don’t love you”. Josh has a point though, she should have told him about the trip. I think she has feelings for Luc and that’s why she felt guilty and didn’t tell him. *sniff* this is so sad!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. JLBDreams16 says:

    This chapter was so emotional. Finally Alison realized what she’d been doing. I just hope Josh doesn’t linger in the romanticized version of their relationship and accepts that is wasn’t healthy.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Hailey says:

    Yeouch. But I’m glad. I like Alison okay, but she’s not the one for Josh. He needs someone better suited to him.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. cshaner says:

    Whew!!!!!! That was absolutely the lid blowing off the pressure cooker.

    We always say things in anger that we wish we could have back but the depth of the words is true usually even if you don’t say them the way you mean to.

    We all knew this was coming. I don’t blame Alison at all for not wanting kids. What I blame her for is allowing the continued relationship with Josh even though she knew his heart and her own.

    Yes she loves him, but she hasn’t been in love with him in a while and her excuses of not going to his games, her shame over their (in my opinion non-issue) relationship to each other and her inability to even tell him where she was going and why showed her lack of faith in him. “I don’t want to deal with his drama now so I’m not going to tell my boyfriend and lover I’m going away for a week with his handsome cousin.” Selfish Alison. That is all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • JoieWilder says:

      She was very selfish. Part of the reason she couldn’t end it herself was because she knew, no matter how she did it, their friendship would be over for good. Even when things stopped being so good with them, they still had their times when they could just relax and hang out, like the old days. She knew she’d lose even that if she ended it. So it wasn’t right at all, but it had to be Josh that finally pulled the plug.

      Liked by 1 person

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